Wellbeing: Mindful Thriving
The practice of mindfulness originates primarily in Eastern philosophy and religion, and it has gained increasing popularity throughout the world, as people search for improved health, wellbeing and meaning in their lives. The practice itself is quite simple; it entails paying attention to the present moment with an emphasis on direct sensory experience (i.e., noticing what you can see, hear, feel, smell, taste), rather than thoughts (e.g., judgements about the experience, distracted thinking about the past or future). Mindfulness is thus about being present in the moment and doing so with an open, embracing, or non-judgemental kind of awareness.
But the obvious question might be, why? What’s it all for?
Consider for a moment – if health, happiness, and wellbeing are more than just the absence of disease and distress, what does it mean to thrive in life? What does it mean to you?
I believe there are two main ways that mindfulness can help us to, not just survive and ‘get through’ life, but thrive. The first relates to struggle. There are so many things we struggle with. We fight, resist, suppress, or avoid situations, people, interactions, and perhaps most especially, we struggle with ourselves. Our thoughts, emotions, body sensations, impulses, actions, choices, even who we are or who we’d like to be, what we want or don’t want, all of these things are fertile ground for struggle.
While some things require a proverbial ‘fight’ – injustice or making sure you or a loved one are safe for example – struggling with our own inner experience of thoughts and feelings is usually a no-win battle. Have you ever found yourself fighting with your own mind by trying not to think about something (e.g., trying not to worry about an upcoming event, or something someone said)? Or wrestling with an image from a past situation playing over and over in your mind, so that you analyse it, judge it, wonder how it could have been different? Or how about resisting the feeling of pain that has come up because of a hurtful comment, so you try and push it down or find yourself hanging on to it. When you reflect on these processes, how successful were they? Did struggling with the thought or feeling help? Did it get you closer to what matters to you?
Often the answer is ‘no’. Mindfulness offers us another path, one where we can learn to ‘be with’ our thoughts and feelings, where we can make room for them to come and go, rather than resist, follow, or feed them with more attention than they deserve.
The second way mindfulness can help us to thrive relates to conscious engagement with what matters. There are two parts to this. The first is having a clear understanding of what is important to you; what matters, the sort of person you want to be, or what you want to stand for. We call these qualities Values, and they are like the compass heading that gives our life meaning, purpose, and richness. Broadly speaking, you may value family, health, or your vocation. More specifically, you might value connection, beauty, ambition, helping others, justice, nature, resilience, uniqueness, or adventure. Every person is different, and often when things aren’t going well, or just don’t feel right in some way, it is because we have lost (or perhaps never had) contact with our Values. The second part relates to being mindfully present with our Value-directed actions. When we are doing things that are meaningful for us, it is important not to miss out on them because we are busy thinking about something that has already happened, or planning for or worrying about something that might happen in the future!
Mindfulness thus brings us right into our life in the moment, as it is unfolding, so we can savour the experience. And this is often about many small everyday moments, not just the Big Occasions. Things like a sunrise, or an embrace, an act of kindness, the delightful feeling of movement, or a task undertaken with competence and care.
Mindfulness can be a useful tool to help us move toward greater health and well-being, and perhaps even thrive in life. But sometimes problems are complex and may seem overwhelming to the point where you don’t even know where to start. Remember that you do not have to do this on your own. If you feel ready for support on your journey to happiness and thriving – whatever that means for you – then please reach out. I am here to help.